In his biweekly column, Langley Shazor speaks to issues important to men within the territory.
Love is not a single language. It is a collection of dialects shaped by experience, upbringing, and expectation. One of the greatest misunderstandings between men and women is not about whether love exists, but about how it is felt. Many women experience love through emotional closeness, consistent communication, and visible affection. Many men experience love through respect, trust, and acknowledgment of effort. When these languages are not understood, both sides feel unloved even when love is present.
For many men, respect is not about superiority. It is about significance. It is the sense that their role, their effort, and their intentions matter. When a man feels respected, he feels secure in the relationship. That security gives him the freedom to be open, generous, and emotionally available. When he feels dismissed or constantly corrected without balance, it can quietly erode his confidence. The issue is rarely about ego alone. It is about identity.
From a young age, boys are often taught that their value comes from competence. They are praised when they solve problems, fix what is broken, or take initiative. Over time, competence becomes tied to worth. In adulthood, when effort goes unnoticed or intentions are assumed to be careless, it can feel like rejection. Respect communicates that his effort is seen even when the outcome is imperfect. It says, “I trust you. I value you. I believe in your intention.”
This does not mean men require blind agreement or immunity from accountability. Respect is not silence in the face of wrong. It is the tone and posture with which correction is delivered. A conversation grounded in dignity preserves connection. A conversation driven by contempt fractures it. When disagreements maintain mutual regard, they strengthen the relationship instead of weakening it.
Women often interpret respect differently. For many women, feeling secure in a relationship comes from emotional consistency and attentiveness. They want to know their feelings will be received without dismissal. When that emotional security is shaken, they may respond with intensity. The challenge arises when each person is expressing love in a way the other does not instinctively recognize.
If a woman expresses frustration about feeling unheard, she is often asking for reassurance. If a man expresses frustration about feeling disrespected, he is often asking for acknowledgment. Neither is inherently wrong. The breakdown occurs when these requests are interpreted as attacks rather than invitations.
Respect in a man’s language often looks like trust. Trust that his effort is sincere. Trust that he is capable. Trust that he is not the enemy in every conflict. When a man feels that his partner assumes the best of him rather than the worst, he responds with greater openness. Suspicion tightens communication. Trust expands it.
Respect also looks like appreciation. Verbal acknowledgment of effort, even small effort, reinforces connection. Many men are motivated not by applause but by affirmation. When appreciation is absent, it can create quiet discouragement. When appreciation is present, it fuels engagement. A man who feels valued is far more likely to initiate affection, conversation, and vulnerability.
The absence of respect can create defensiveness. If every mistake is magnified and every strength minimized, a man may retreat emotionally. He may become guarded, not because he does not care, but because he feels perpetually evaluated. Respect provides breathing room. It allows growth without humiliation. It allows correction without shame.
At the same time, men must recognize that respect is reciprocal. Demanding respect while offering little emotional safety creates imbalance. Respect cannot be commanded. It is cultivated through consistency, integrity, and humility. A man who listens attentively, speaks calmly, and follows through on his word naturally earns respect. It becomes mutual rather than negotiated.
Understanding this difference in emotional language reduces unnecessary conflict. When a woman offers reassurance and affirmation intentionally, she often sees a shift in energy. When a man offers emotional attentiveness and validation intentionally, he sees the same. Love begins to feel less like a negotiation and more like collaboration.
There is also a cultural component to consider. Public discourse often frames respect as hierarchy. In healthy relationships, respect is partnership. It is not about control. It is about mutual regard. It is about speaking to one another in ways that preserve dignity even in disagreement.
When respect and emotional security are both present, something powerful happens. Communication becomes less reactive. Affection becomes more natural. Conflict becomes productive rather than destructive. Both partners begin to feel safe enough to reveal their deeper selves.
Men do not need perfection. They need partnership that acknowledges their effort and trusts their intention. Women do not need dominance. They need consistency and emotional presence. When both are given, love deepens in ways that surprise even the people involved.
Respect is not the absence of love. It is one of its expressions. For many men, it is the clearest signal that love is real. When that signal is strong, vulnerability increases. Walls lower. Conversations open.
Understanding that respect functions as love in a man’s language does not diminish a woman’s needs. It enhances clarity. It allows both sides to express care in ways the other can receive. The bridge between men and women strengthens not when one language wins, but when both are spoken fluently.
When love and respect move together, connection stabilizes. And stability, over time, becomes trust.
Editor’s Note: Opinion articles do not represent the views of the Virgin Islands Source newsroom and are the sole expressed opinion of the writer. Submissions can be made to visource@gmail.com.
A St. Thomas Bovoni resident was injured and robbed of money and jewelry after multiple masked individuals armed with firearms forced their way into his home Friday morning, according to the Virgin Islands Police Department.
The Criminal Investigation Bureau is investigating the first-degree burglary, which occurred near the Purple Shop at about 6:09 a.m. Friday, according to the police report.
Police said the victim was leaving his residence when several masked suspects carrying firearms forcibly entered the home. The suspects allegedly injured the victim, stole money and jewelry, and fled the area on foot.
Investigators are asking anyone who witnessed the incident or has information about the suspects to contact the 911 Emergency Call Center or Detective M. Hodge-Donovan of the Criminal Investigation Bureau at 340-774-2211, according to the police report.
Anonymous tips can also be submitted through Crime Stoppers V.I. at 800-222-8477 (TIPS).
A St. Croix woman was arrested Saturday after police said she forced her way into an apartment, armed herself with knives and attempted to assault the occupant during a domestic disturbance at the Candido Guadelupe housing apartments.
The 911 Emergency Call Center received a report of a domestic disturbance in progress at approximately 6:32 a.m. June 6, according to the Virgin Islands Police Department.
Responding patrol officers and investigators made contact with the parties involved and learned that Donna Emmanuel allegedly forced her way into the victim’s apartment, created a disturbance, armed herself with knives and attempted to assault the victim, according to the police report.
Emmanuel, 36, was escorted to the Wilbur H. Francis Command Police Station, advised of her Miranda rights, arrested and booked, police said.
She was charged with first-degree burglary, third-degree assault, possession of a dangerous weapon during the commission of a crime of violence and destruction of property, according to the police report.
Police said no bail was set pending her appearance before a judge. Emmanuel was transported to the John Bell Correctional Facility pending an advice of rights hearing scheduled for Monday in Superior Court.
A man was arrested and charged after a woman reported she was sexually assaulted inside a McDonald’s restaurant in Estate La Reine, St. Croix, according to the Virgin Islands Police Department.
Police said a female victim reported on June 2 that Neil Durrant sexually assaulted her at about 1:38 p.m. at the restaurant. The case was assigned to the Criminal Investigation Bureau, whose investigation identified Durrant as the suspect, according to the police report.
On June 3, investigators made contact with Durrant and transported him to the Wilbur H. Francis Command Police Station, where he was advised of his Miranda rights, police said.
Durrant was arrested and charged with first-degree unlawful sexual contact and simple assault and battery. Bail was set at $35,000. Unable to post bail, he was transported to the John Bell Correctional Facility pending his advice of rights hearing, according to the police report.
A woman was arrested after police said she slashed another woman in the face during an altercation at Coki Point Beach on St. Thomas, according to the Virgin Islands Police Department.
Officers responded to Coki Point Beach at approximately 2:31 p.m. on May 31 after receiving a report that a woman had been stabbed or slashed in the face during a confrontation, according to a VIPD news release.
Police said detectives made contact with the victim on June 1, and the victim positively identified Kamaitawene Aijoma as the suspect. Aijoma was subsequently interviewed and arrested.
Aijoma was charged with third-degree assault and simple assault. Bail was set at $25,000, according to the police report.
Anyone with information about the incident is asked to contact 911, the Investigation Bureau at 340-774-2211 extensions 5553, 5554, 5555 or 5556, Crime Stoppers V.I. at 800-222-TIPS (8477), the Chief’s Office at 340-715-5546 or the Commissioner’s Office at 340-715-5506, according to VIPD.
Two men were killed and two other people were injured in a shooting early Sunday morning at Luna Bar in Peter’s Rest on St. Croix, the Virgin Islands Police Department reported.
Police said the 911 Emergency Call Center received reports of a shooting with possible gunshot victims at approximately 3:45 a.m. Sunday.
According to a VIPD police report, a preliminary investigation found that a verbal altercation led to the shooting. The incident left 31-year-old Wahili James and 34-year-old Samuel Rivera dead. Both men were identified by family members.
Two other victims, a minor and a 30-year-old man, sustained gunshot wounds and were reported to be in stable condition, police said.
James and Rivera’s deaths mark the eighth and ninth homicides on St. Croix and the 15th and 16th for the territory, according to the Source Homicide List.*
The investigation remains active. The Criminal Investigation Bureau is asking anyone with information about the shooting to contact 911, the bureau at 340-778-2211, or Crime Stoppers USVI at 800-222-8477.
*The Source Homicide List is a chronological log of the homicides recorded in 2026 in the U.S. Virgin Islands, as reported by the VIPD. Cases are broken down by island. While this listing is based on VIPD reports, the Source does not include suicides or vehicular homicides in its listing, which the police and some other media do. This can lead to a discrepancy in the number of incidents reported.
Ana Elsa Osorio Benitez, of C’sted, St. Croix, passed away on Sunday, May 3, 2026. She was 89 years old.
Ana Elsa Osorio Benitez
She is preceded in death by her mother, Maria Christina Benitez; father, Sotero Osorio; grandparents, Julia Ayala Rosa and Anastacio Benitez; sister, Lydia Osorio; brothers, Julio Ramon Osorio, Victor Manuel Osorio, and Angel Ramon Osorio; nieces, Sandra, Sonia, Gladys, and Judy; nephew, Luis Angel Osorio; aunts, Juanita “Jenny”, Benita, Isidra “Chira”, and Selina; uncles, Ernesto, Richard, and Saturino; cousins, Luz “Cookie” Serrano (Best Friend), Elsie Ortiz, Luz “Lucy” Calderon, Milagros “Millie” Cepeda, and Carlos “Charlie” Calderon.
She is survived by her son, Angel “Rafie” Rodriquez; daughter-in-law, Maria Morales; sister-in-law, Josefina Serrano Osorio; sisters, Ana Ilda Osorio, and Juana Maria Osorio; brother, Angel Iran Osorio; nieces, Maria Christina, Luisa, Ruth, Chrissy, Mercedes, and Punchy; nephews, Milton, Richie, and Willie; great niece, Krizia; great-nephews, Omar, Carlito, Max, Xavier, Chris, Daniel, William, Eddie, and Orlando; special friends, Chikita, Carpio, James, Dinorah, Wanda, Biboy, Eulogio, Rosa Frias, and Maria Lourdes Santiago; cousins & other relatives, Maggie, Alba, Juliana, Nerieda, Sally, Gigi, Ramon, Lizza “Nicky”, Cherise “Shanty”, Carla Calderon, Marie Elsie Calderon, Carlos Calderon, III, Carlos “Landy” Calderon, Sr., Evalise Calderon, Carlos “Orlandito” Calderon, Ernst “Cuso” Schuster, Jr. (Elaine “Pinky” Schuster), Eusebio “Chebby” Cepeda, Orlando “Bundy” Ortiz, and Florencio “Cito” Ortiz (Franchesca “Frannie” Ortiz); other cousins, relatives and friends too numerous to mention.
Memorial service will be held on Saturday, June 20th at the James Memorial Funeral Home Chapel, located at 6AA Estate La Grande Princess, Christiansted St. Croix, USVI at 10:00 am.
Cremation arrangements are entrusted to Schuster’s Crematorium, LLC.
Monday and Tuesday from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. the Department of Public Works conducts road repairs along a portion of Benburin “Benny” Stephens Drive in the Bovoni area of St. Thomas.
DPW contractor – Grace Civil LLC — has previously completed several segments of the Bovoni roadway and will return to the area adjacent to the Puma Gas Station to complete the remaining section of the project. To minimize disruptions for motorists and residents, construction activities will take place overnight from 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m. each day.
Motorists should expect delays, exercise caution, obey all traffic control devices, and follow directions from flaggers and construction personnel. Residents and commuters are encouraged to plan accordingly and allow additional travel time.
(Submitted photo)
Also, Monday through Wednesday, from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. the Post Office Beautification Project in the Historic Downtown Charlotte Amalie could slow traffic.
DPW contractor — Island Designs LLC. — will mobilize on-site beginning with a temporary refrigerated container that will be stored on the eastern side of Emancipation Garden for the delivery and offloading of project materials. The refrigerated container is expected to remain on-site through Wednesday. Landscaping activities will take place from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., and the project is scheduled to be completed by August 2026.
The Post Office Beautification Project is part of the Department’s ongoing efforts to enhance the appearance of public spaces and create a more welcoming and aesthetically pleasing environment for residents and visitors.
Check out our weekly weather forecast with Jesse Daley, covering Sunday, June 7, through Saturday, June 13.
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An ad hoc group of creditors in Brett “Mac” McClafferty’s bankruptcy proceedings is seeking a 60-day extension to file a “nondischargeability action” against him because he continues to evade requests for information and acts with “utter disregard for his duties as a chapter 13 debtor and general disrespect for the bankruptcy process,” according to a motion filed Thursday in U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Delaware.
The group — called the “McClafferty Victims” in their filings and “Voluntary Lenders” by McClafferty — comprises some 17 individuals or closely held micro businesses that gave him money on behalf of his now defunct Mac Private Equity for investment purposes. In return, he gave them a promissory note to repay the money, according to court documents. Each of them has a lawsuit pending against McClafferty, and two have been awarded judgments in Virgin Islands courts, one for $45,000 and another for $110,000, the motion states.
Their claims are subject to exception from discharge, it says, adding that none of them possesses great wealth and they “have all suffered financial harm at the hands of Mr. McClafferty’s fraudulent schemes.”
Mac Private Equity — which was 100 percent owned by McClafferty, who is also co-owner of St. Thomas Social, a restaurant and bar in Yacht Haven Grande on St. Thomas — filed for relief under Chapter 7 of the Bankruptcy Code on March 4, 2025. On Nov. 7, McClafferty filed for relief under Chapter 13, which his creditors allege was to avoid further collections processes in the Virgin Islands.
After William F. Jaworski Jr., the Chapter 13 trustee, filed an amended motion March 17 to dismiss the case because McClafferty’s debts “in excess of $3,618,000” significantly exceed the thresholds set forth under section 13079(c) of the Bankruptcy Code, the Mac Private Equity creditors filed a motion to convert the case to Chapter 7, rather than dismiss it.
According to Jaworski’s amended motion, McClafferty’s conduct, “characterized by the failure to list all assets, concealment of income, the maintenance of a lavish lifestyle, and the funding of personal political ambitions while in bankruptcy falls far short of the ‘honest debtor’ standard. Such conduct warrants immediate dismissal.”
Jaworski noted that McClafferty did not accurately disclose his continuing stream of income from Social Hospitality Group, which owns St. Thomas Social, “has engaged in significant post-petition discretionary spending that is neither reasonable nor necessary for his support or maintenance,” and according to the Delaware Department of Justice, his proposed plan cannot be confirmed because he failed to file state tax returns for 2021 through 2024.
According to their motion, despite “diligent effort and investigation, the McClafferty Victims have been unable to find any evidence that Mr. McClafferty filed personal income tax returns for 2021–2024 in any jurisdiction.”
Meanwhile, George L. Miller, the trustee in the Chapter 7 petition for Mac Private Equity, filed a status report in March claiming McClafferty “was not able to adequately answer questions of the Trustee, counsel or creditors” at a meeting in October or in subsequent meetings. Miller reported that as far as he can tell, “None of the records obtained to date demonstrate anything other than Mr. McClafferty using corporate funds for personal expenses.”
McClafferty, who is running for delegate to Congress while also facing felony bank fraud charges in V.I. Superior Court on St. Thomas, with a current jury selection date of Nov. 3 — the same day as the General Election in which he is a candidate — has denied wrongdoing and has objected to Jaworski’s motions to dismiss the Chapter 13 petition.
He states, among other things, that none of the victims’ claims has been liquidated in the courts of the Virgin Islands and he intends to file objections to each of them. Regarding the proof of claim of $3,168,000, McClafferty said that because it and the alleged victims’ claims are “disputed, unliquidated, and based upon unajudicated allegations of liability, and because no court has determined that the Debtor is personally liable for any of these obligations, these claims cannot properly be counted toward the Debtor’s eligibility limits under 11 U.S.C. § 109(e) at this time.”
He was more blunt in his summation in a Facebook post in April. “We had no obligation to ‘invest’ anything lol. That’s the part you’re missing,” he posted on What’s Going on St. Thomas about the Mac Private Equity case. “Not a single one of our lending agreements obligated us to ‘invest’ anything. MPE was a startup PE [Private Equity] firm operating on a burn rate. It collapsed before it could take off. It’s a shame — but that’s life on the Serengeti; you win some, ya lose some,” he said, concluding the post with a shrug emoji.
In their motion for an order to convert the case to Chapter 7, his alleged victims claim that McClafferty has treated them and his other creditors “atrociously before and during this Case. He has lied under oath, used the territorial and federal courts of the Virgin Islands — and now the United States Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware — to play games, delay and hinder the McClafferty Victims’ recoveries.”
According to that motion, his outright disregard for his duties as a bankruptcy debtor “can only be seen as willful and malicious,” having stymied a meeting between himself and the creditors, known as a 341 meeting, and timed “to avoid further collections processes in the Virgin Islands.”
In their filing Thursday, they said nothing has changed since their first motion to extend and that since their last contact with Jaworski on May 28, McClafferty still has not provided his tax returns and “clearly has no intent to comply with the requirements of being a chapter 13 debtor.”
It would be a pointless and expensive waste of time for them to fight for a court order to force production of required information, they said, because he “will predictably ignore” it, then they will come back to the Court with more motions seeking sanctions and another order, “which Mr. McClafferty will predictably ignore.”
Judge Brendan Linehan Shannon, who is presiding over both the Chapter 13 and Chapter 7 cases, had not ruled on the creditors’ motion as of Saturday.
Op-Ed: The Lounge | A Column for Men: Before the Bridge: Respect Is Love in a Man’s Language
Editor’s Note: Opinion articles do not represent the views of the Virgin Islands Source newsroom and are the sole expressed opinion of the writer. Submissions can be made to visource@gmail.com.
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