The latest buzzword on the mainland, especially on the Internet, is TEOTWAWKI
(pronounced teo-twaw-ki).
When we first ran across it, we thought it was an American Indian name. It's
not. Nor is it a word. It's a warning disguised as an acronym: The End Of
The World As We Know It!
There are people on the mainland, those prophets of doom and disaster, who would have you believe that's what is going to happen next New Year's Eve as we pass into the next millennium.
TEOTWAWKI is not going to happen. But more and more you hear on the mainland there might be serious disruptions of services when the Y2K bug bites all those computer systems.
The Y2K problem should not worry Virgin Islanders. Instead we should see if for the wonderful opportunity it is. If we play our cards right, the Virgin Islands can garner the kind of publicity it's impossible to buy.
We see an advertising campaign built around the fact these islands are the safest place in the world to be next New Year's Day.
"New Yorkers, afraid you'll freeze when your heating system fails? Come on down! Sleep on our beautiful beaches."
"Bostonians, afraid your computer-controlled water supply will shut off?
Come on down! We're the islands of the cisterns."
"Chicagoans, afraid your electricity will fail? Come on down! Our electricity frequently fails. That's why our islands have more generators,flashlights and gas lanterns, per capita, than any place on earth."
"Floridians, afraid the elevators in your high-rise apartment building will stop running? Come on down! Our islands don't have elevators to speak of."
And a special message to mainland residents worried that their local
governments might stop working: Hey, the Virgin Islands government doesn't work that well some of the time anyway.
How will the Virgin Islands feel all the people who will flee here between Christmas and New Year's? We call upon Gov. Charles W. Turnbull to requisition from FEMA 2,000,000—yes, two million—MRE's, Meals Ready to Eat. If they're good enough for our fighting men and women, they're good enough for us and our visitors.
By this time it should be evident that our recent hurricanes were blessings in disguises–rehearsals for surviving Y2K.
TEOTWAWKI. Nonsense! We'll even lay on a special edition of J'ouvert the morning of next January 1. Might call it Jump Up Teotwawki, except this would attract all those nuts. How about Jump Up TVIPONY (t-vip-ony)?
The Virgin Islands Parties On New Year's.
Editors'note: Frank J. Jordan is a local radio commentator, former UVI journalism professor, and former NBC News Executive.
