In his bi-weekly column, Langley Shazor speaks to issues important to men within the territory.
We are living in exciting times, with some things obviously being less desirable than others, for change, empowerment, and self-improvement. As mass transition is underway for men, and women, to genuinely become better versions of themselves. This movement is evident in social media, in conversations, and in the overall atmosphere of social interactions. Again, we are all works in progress and this journey will have setbacks, bumps, bruises, losses, and frustrations. The work must continue and the progress we have made cannot be in vain. We may not be where we want to be but thank God we are not where we were.
Men, we have spoken often in this space about the need to take internal inventory; how are you feeling? What needs do you have? What are your desires? Where are the areas for improvement? Have you been burying things that you need to address? What about you? We have been indoctrinated to believe that everything and everyone comes before ourselves. That in this role of being a provider, including us is somehow inappropriate and, in fact, frowned upon. When we speak of breaking generational curses, this one is at the top of the list. This transcends race and culture. As you have heard me say, “just because something is accepted, doesn’t make it appropriate”. The bootstrap mindset has generally been accepted as how men should be, but it has been to our detriment.
I have had several conversations recently in the fitness sphere regarding the importance of listening to your body. I am not exempt from following this model. I am probably one of the worst for “pushing through” when I should be resting. Knowing that I am running on fumes or maybe on empty, I still “show up” and persevere. Let me pause because my empty and your empty are going to be different. My drained and your drained will not be the same capacity. Our bodies are different, with varying degrees of wear and tear, injuries, fitness levels, etc. I point this out because not only can I not tell you when you need to rest (without seeing you), but you have to live with the lack of results if you are using the need to rest as a cop-out from doing the work. The other side of this equation being that if you are pushing when you should be resting, your body is going to give out on you, and typically at the most inopportune time. If you aren’t listening, it will get your attention.
I wanted to frame this topic first in the context of physical activity because all of us can relate to being worn out. We can all relate to being tired, stiff, sore, hurting etc. Especially for us men who want to appear to be tough and manly, we often believe that always doing it when you’re barely able is the correct way to live until the quality of life is cut short or drastically altered. The totality of the application of resting expands beyond the physical. Many of us are on the verge of losing our minds because are not sitting down and talking through issues. We aren’t even acknowledging that the issues exist. We are sweeping things under the rug until we stumble over the very pile we tried to overlook. Many of us are battling depression because we refuse to address our emotions, understand them, and learn ways to regulate them. For those of us who actively practice a faith system, we are misaligned, neglectful in our prayer and meditation, lackadaisical in our study, and wonder why we are under attack.
As we have just briefly outlined, in all aspects of yourself, you are being sat down because you won’t sit down. The road to recovery is long, but you lengthen it by procrastination. Not only in how long you remain in this place of struggling, but also in how long it will take to come out of it. The deeper the pit, the further the climb out. We can no longer afford to overlook how we are feeling, what are stresses are and from where the stem. We cannot pretend our spiritual foundation is firm when we haven’t sat down with our higher power and our internal self to begin the path to realignment. We also cannot neglect where certain emotions reside in our body. Every issue you are facing or refusing to face will ultimately manifest itself physically. During the most recent Grounded session by ElevateWi, we discovered emotional mapping, a visual representation of which emotions effect which areas. I will include the link to an article at the conclusion of this piece. It is all interconnected.
Our whole selves require holistic and wholistic strategies. Only addressing one area will leave us deficient in other places. This will keep us misaligned and unbalanced. This instability will lead to untimely and often catastrophic disruptions within us, our homes, our schedules, and our progress. It is not a matter of if, but when. As we strive to unlock the power and peace within us, let us be reminded that we need to sit down and take time for ourselves, for ourselves. Running yourself ragged is not a badge of honor but a recipe for self-destruction. When you are stretched too thin, you can’t cover anything, least of all, yourself.
Bodily Maps of Emotions Link:
https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.1321664111
Langley “Casual-Word” Shazor is a poet, author, publisher, entrepreneur, public speaking coach, podcast host, and pastor who is an advocate for youth and men. His goal is to enlighten, empower, and liberate those who are silenced, marginalized, and enslaved to self-destructive thoughts and behaviors.
Visit thecasualword.com.
Editor’s Note: Opinion articles do not represent the views of the Virgin Islands Source newsroom and are the sole expressed opinion of the writer. Submissions can be made to visource@gmail.com.
