Dear Coach Paradise —
I have been reading your column and want to say that you have helped me see things from a different angle. I notice that most of the questions people send you have to do with their personal lives. My question is about my work life. In your bio, it says that you work with people who want to make changes in their personal and professional lives so I am hoping you can help me. I work in sales and keep feeling like a pushy jerk when I make sales calls. I literally grit my teeth whenever I pick up the phone. I have to take a deep breath before I make a call, even though it usually goes pretty well. Despite my years in sales-related jobs, I still go through this and it is exhausting. It keeps me playing computer games long after I promised myself I would be working through my list of contacts. I find myself doing anything but, and I know that my income is less and my stress is greater than it could be if I could just get a handle on this. Can coaching help me here?
Signed,
Cold caller in distress
Dear Cold Caller,
The answer is a resounding, "Yes, coaching can help you." Its a really good sign that you are asking and even identifying where and when you are getting stuck. Noticing that you feel like a pushy jerk, gritting your teeth before picking up the phone, tells me that you have a lot of negative baggage that is getting in the way of your feeling good about selling and preventing you from being successful. This baggage is made up of negative mental chatter that has hardened into opinions, beliefs, complaints, confusions, attitudes, decisions, worries and fears about selling. You, I am sure, have your own version, but here are a few examples: "Selling is a real crapshoot; its all about luck." "Everyone knows that salespeople are always trying to con you." "People are too cheap to buy this high-end service." "The economy is bad, people just arent buying," etc. People new to sales and long-time sales people alike have baggage. Once you are able to look at it, see where it comes from and tell the truth about it (size, shape, weight), you can begin to do something about it. You can identify the "monkey mind" conversations (the mental chatter) and check to see if it is really true. (Are you a con? Is your product really top notch?) If there is something that is true that needs fixing you can fix it (e.g. ethical issues, strategies, getting accurate facts). Then you can learn how to switch channels and tune into one that supports you and is full of positive messages that will help you and get you going. Coaching can provide you with great tools so you can sort through your baggage, and realize that you are someone who really wants to make a contribution to your customers and has a great product to offer. This is just the first step, but it is a big one and I hope it helps.
To your ongoing success,
Coach Paradise
Editor's note: Coach Paradise (AKA Anne Nayer), Professional Life Coach, is a member of the International Coaching Federation, an MSW clinical social worker/psychotherapist, and a medical case manager with 30 years experience working with people of all shapes, sizes and challenges.
For further information about her services, call 774-4355.
