Dear Coach Paradise,
I am feeling totally overwhelmed by all that I have to do for the holidays. I don't know how I am going to get presents and wrap and send them to my grown children and my many grandchildren. Everything seems to be going wrong. I showed up at a doctor's appointment a day early, and then Home Depot wouldn't take a credit card for gift certificates and I had to go home for cash. Why does it have to be so hard? I used to love the holidays, and would like to get in the spirit again.
Signed,
Cheerless in Paradise
Dear Cheerless,
Putting the cheer back in the holidays is clearly at the top of your wish list. The fact that you are willing to look at what's going on and have made the connection between your stress level and an overloaded plate is a step in the right direction.
Would it be all right with you if this were all easier and fun? What would it look like if you got to design the holidays this year? How would it feel to be living inside your ideal holiday? Picture it clearly and try it on. Let your design be the answer to the following questions: What do the holidays really mean to you? What do you love about this season, and how can you best express and celebrate what this time is about for you and your family — no matter what kind of messages you have given and lived in the past?
It takes courage to shine a light on and dismantle preconceived ways of being (habits). It means telling the truth and replacing outworn, dysfunctional habits with the updated, expanded version. A small shift in perspective can change the world.
On the practical level, this shift could result in taking the path of least resistance. Home Depot probably has an online store, which, I am sure, takes credit cards. Rather than sending gifts and risk them being stolen or late, enlist one of your grandchildren to be Santa's (Grandma's) helper and shop, wrap and deliver. If you dare to decide that the holidays are about family and love, and not about money and things, I bet you could get creative and design a pretty spectacular scenario in which everyone would be closer to Joy to the World, Peace on Earth and the stories behind whatever holiday you celebrate.
Happy Holidays,
Coach Paradise
Editor's note: Coach Paradise (AKA Anne Nayer), Professional Life Coach, is a member of the International Coaching Federation, an MSW clinical social worker-psychotherapist and a medical case manager with 30 years experience working with people of all shapes, sizes and challenges.
For further information about her services, call 774-4355 or email her.
